The form of this poem reminds me of the way a person breathes, in and out, measured and slow, which the narrator comments on explicitly at the end of the first stanza. From this point, the poem inhales as another thread comes to play: the mother and her television, exhaling again when we see the hummingbird prepare for flight. I found myself breathing with the narrator, with the hummingbird, awaiting my own moment for rest. Kudos!
Lovely lovely lovely. The repetition is so subtle and feels effortless. <3
Such gorgeous work. I was particularly taken with the second stanza.
Such a beautiful poem! I love the parallel of the mother and the hummingbird. One is full of life while the other is trying to hang on. There were a few lines that made me think the hummingbird represented the mother in her prime.
Beautiful poem. I especially love your use of line breaks and indentations -- they don't seem to be random and they add a lot to the way I breathe when I read the poem aloud.