Wow. Lovely: the repetition of the dialogue between the images. The turn away from which character has done what they said they would do is pleasant.
Those last couple of lines bring some major punch. Nice job!
When we smoked until the wallpaper disappeared. Powerful visual.
Love the repetition; lovely, lonely ending.
“I will write you,” he said, “Every time I think of you.”
Powerful last line
I reckon cooked or dead are pretty much the same thing. Powerful stuff like a river current.
This is wonderfully vivid and lyrical.
I really like that there's just a couple lines of dialogue in this. The repetition makes it almost poetic. And the fact that you aren't so much explaining a situation as you are describing an image in that situation, and using it as the core. The ending will leave me thinking for a while: what the person is supposed to remember, and the metaphor of the rabbit and the war. Well done!
An insightful example of compassion and brevity.
The repetition in this piece works so well, especially in the delivery of that ending punch!
This hybrid work really occupies a lonely space. The ultimate line contradicts much of the relationship earlier in the work in such a wonderful way.
I like how the end twists. I love the use of repetition to pull you down throughout the story to see what is going to happen and if this will be true.
Great rhythm in this piece. I thought the last few lines were perfect, too--nice job!
Fantastic compression. And I feel like I have a sense of the speaker as a character, too. Given me some new ideas about old ideas I thought were too short.
This piece had a very nice flow that, while not too complicated to follow, showcased complex themes. Nice job!
Complex themes in such short pieces always amaze me, and this one definitely didn't disappoint. Great job!
I enjoyed the recurring imagery of the corn and rabbits. It gave me something concrete to see, while the time frame shifted through the story.