tethered

Open full view…

Post: Going to the Beach – Blue Pig’s Story

Fri, 12 Jun 2015 00:54:18 GMT

Ru
Fri, 12 Jun 2015 00:54:18 GMT

An unexpected and innocent perspective on tragedy. So good that I read it twice.

Katzmcmullen
Sat, 13 Jun 2015 00:07:37 GMT

Hi Mary, I love this story. I agree completely with the above person's comment. I wish baby could come back, too. I will be thinking about the blue pig, the dog, the Man, Woman, and Baby for a long time.

DaisyGray
Sat, 13 Jun 2015 00:18:16 GMT

This story is very impacting. The use of a simplistic voice adds a lot to the story in the way that it makes the tragedy feel simple and makes thoughts feel a bit less significant and empty-- the way one's sentences would form in their head when tragedy strikes. The voice also gives a great rhythm to the story, letting the reader become fully immersed. Great job!

nana01
Sun, 14 Jun 2015 18:52:06 GMT

This story has left me with conflicting feelings. I like and don't like it at the same time. I don't like it because it makes me feel uncomfortable; I like it because it makes me feel uncomfortable. All mind games aside, it is amazing how disturbing and heartbreaking the extremely simple perspective of a toy can be. I realize that the same story written from the perspective of the "Man" for example would not have sounded as strong. It probably would've been soapy. The last sentence probably had the most impact; it's like the death blow. It's a great piece. The only part I found slightly irrelevant was the part about eating the sandwich. I feel like it's a piece of characterization that somehow doesn't fit... or maybe I just can't see how it works.

SlytherinChaser
Mon, 15 Jun 2015 01:52:02 GMT

This is such a sad and beautifully written story. I really loved it and I liked the perspective you chose and the innocent name you gave the toy. All of your narrative choices really come together nicely here.

Sailor661
Mon, 15 Jun 2015 13:19:08 GMT

What an interesting point of view. The silent, non-living observer. It was a disturbing story, but very well told. I'm glad Woman returned. Few marriages survive the loss of a child.

Katzmcmullen
Mon, 15 Jun 2015 17:53:01 GMT

I agree that the pig p.o.v. allows the Blue Pig story to have a huge effect. Pig is very limited in his vocabulary, experience, and knowledge of the world outside his own experience. He can only express himself in a very simplistic, concrete, but unambiguous way. The conclusions he reaches about what happened to Baby reflect the limits of his experience. I wonder if he will ever reach a point where he understands death. Will he be caught forever in this place of not understanding? And is pig's not understanding superior to the Man and Woman's understanding? Pig, by not understanding, leaves himself more open, wide-eyed, ready to accept whatever comes next, whereas Man and Woman, felled by grief, have been made less resilient. Because they dwell on the loss of Baby, and perhaps blame one another for Baby's death, they have come apart.

rionajmc
Sun, 21 Jun 2015 08:57:11 GMT

I agree completely with what someone said above - the last line being "like the death blow." The contrast there of what we know has happened and Pig's ability to comprehend it makes the reader break a little. Loved it.

2k2mc
Fri, 27 Nov 2015 22:01:25 GMT

Beautifully done.

ijf3311
Mon, 23 May 2016 18:19:23 GMT

Slytherin Chaser makes really great points. Katzmcmullen too. I love when the conversation the author has with the reader happens over the top of the head of the character whose story we are reading. Well Done!

helenmaimaris
Tue, 02 Aug 2016 16:32:20 GMT

An ambitious piece, creating the perspective of a non-human animal. I love both the simplicity of the thought process and the use of colours as a way of decoding the world. The impact of both the death and the Woman's return were all the more poignant for the lack of understanding.

BenjiRade
Wed, 05 Apr 2017 21:39:41 GMT

It is so rare to read a piece that is able to smuggle in character details that seems organic to the story, details like "He stopped and looked at me, and then he picked me up in his horrible, pointy, yellow teeth and shook me so hard I thought my seams would burst." That mention of "seams" does SO much work for the story, furthering the drama without calling attention to the author in any way. Kudos, Mary!

VFooteblackman
Fri, 23 Mar 2018 12:28:38 GMT

First just wanted to say how much this story resonated for me, and I was dumbfounded by the economy of language and sentiment to create the story of a major tragedy. I had been looking for examples of the unreliable narrator and Blue Pig's story will have pride of place in my English class. My only very slight concern is that I wonder if a dog biting a child, especially with a parent present, and even biting a major artery would result in as much blood as is suggested in the wording. Instead of ..."a lot of red all over the yellow sand and all over me," that phrase might be modified to read "...a lot of red over the yellow sand and over me." Even a tiny detail like that jars me, in what I otherwise believe is a major "tour de force" of flash fiction.