Wow, great work! It was fascinating to see how the girls dealt with the baby, and how the sight of the baby became entrenched in so many aspects of their lives. There were a lot of great details: the name "Kate," the paper mache maracas, etc.
I love how their everyday life continued imbued with new meanings. The things the girls associated with the baby were poignant, eerie yet somehow sweet because the girls care. As a past Girl Scout, I can imagine the morbid interest the other girls in my troop and I would have!
What I find most compelling is the way the girls deal with a truly horrific event by falling back on their Camp Chapawee training and badge acquisition. It's very emotionless and the contrast is quite jarring, but very true to young girls. I also very much like the description of the girls' breasts as "flat and taut as deer hide drums." Well done.
Alyssa, Amanda, and mellome170, thank you all for reading and for the wonderful comments! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! ~ Audra
This piece just has one of those endings that you don't forget. Fantastic use of repetition throughout and the way she used subtle, elegant details to illustrate the scenes was neither intrusive nor insufficient, She struck that perfect balance.
I loved that ending! The writing just pulls you in and I thought the way these girls dealt with death made sense while being cold at the same time. I loved it.
This is a story that haunts you. From all of the great details to the reactions to the dead baby, I know I'm going to be thinking about this for a long time.
This piece is quite chilling. I like how you show the girls fascination with the death and how it manifests in extreme methods. When something like that happens, people handle it in sometimes bizarre ways and it's cool that you don't shy away from that.